Parents often wonder what they can do to boost the likelihood that their kids will grow into successful adults. One thing for sure that doesn’t help is when parents get fearful of dealing with their children’s emotion and instead give in to quick fixes for getting a child to be calm or happy.
Author and pediatrician Dr. Ken Ginsburg points out that young people gain resilience when “an adult believes in them unconditionally and holds them to high expectations.” He notes that “adolescents are harmed by both unfairly low and impossibly high expectations… and that they need to develop the capacity to realistically assess situations so they do not incorporate self-destructive messages or view uncomfortable situations as true crises.” To do this, young people need their parents to hold steady in the face of high emotional reactivity, set limits and follow through with consequences.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jane-shure/success-requires-grit-and-resilience_b_4746483.html