Creating an Inner Coach Stronger than the Inner Critic

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Creating an Inner Coach Stronger than the Inner Critic

A training program designed by The Resilience Group

Project managers have the hard job of dealing with a wide range of stressors, creative clients who want things their way, tight time lines, budget restrictions and at the same time, need to manage up, and manage down. It’s hard work.

When a manager’s core competencies are met with self-doubt, their power can be instantly diminished. When projects go south, or when a client is angered, or when feedback is critical, it is easy for even competent people to get triggered by the voice of an inner critic that creates anxiety and cramps creative problem solving. That voice says things like “I’m just not up to the job”…. or “they will finally find me out as an imposter” or “I’m just not smart enough.”

At The Resilience Group we believe that this negative self-talk is a major factor in sabotaging feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction. Most of the time the voice is selling false truths, fertilized by self-doubt, and not a reflection of actual skill and capability.

We have developed a training program that teaches the origins of the mind’s negativity bias, how the multiple variations of inner criticism negatively influence our emotional state and how this negative influence leads to a loss of confidence & courageous behaviors. Our Inner-Coaching Model™ for Resilience teaches specific strategies that help managers develop an Inner Coach stronger than the inner critic—an internal voice that can support confidence, boost resilience, refocus energy and move forward towards the next challenge.

For more information about The Resilience Group and a further exploration of how bringing our training to your organization can help, please contact either Beth or Jane.

 

The Resilience Group

Dr. Beth Weinstock, One Wynnewood Court, Narberth, PA 19072 bweinstock@comcast.net 610 664-2996

Dr. Jane Shure, 214 E. Gorgas Lane, Philadelphia, 19110, JKShure@comcast.net, 215 588-6914849-3153

The Person of the Leader: Becoming a Good Coach for Yourself

Good leadership involves the skills of thinking smart, making fast decisions, taking risks, being creative and maintaining resilience even when work is stressful. It involves not only managing tasks well, but managing oneself in order to be a positive influence on others.

We know that many leaders, even successful ones, can be bogged down by inner criticism and negative self-talk that says “I’m just not smart-enough,” “I’ll can’t manage the job,” or “what if I say something stupid and embarrass myself?” This self-defeating mindset increases our stress levels, thwarts courage, creates anxiety, dampens self-confidence and stifles strong leadership. It makes it hard for us to be good advocates for ourselves and also for those who report to us.

We can develop an Inner Coach stronger than the Inner Critic if we learn how to navigate our inner world skillfully – our inner world of thoughts, feelings and self-talk. When we are able to work constructively with our negative self-talk, we increase the likelihood of success for ourselves and our teams. While we cannot be immune to stress or setbacks, we can know how to adapt to new circumstances, align actions with the values of our workplace and make a difference as we move forward.

Inner-Coaching™ involves shifting from a negative mind-set to a positive mindset, the willingness to challenge our thinking when it might not square with reality, our knowing tools for best managing our stress, practicing ways to counteract the voice of the inner critic and using strategies that support us to stay resilient when things are not going our way.

The Path to Courage Requires Walking through Vulnerability

jshure

In her bestselling book, Daring Greatly, Brene Brown explains that “you can’t have true courage unless you open yourself up to vulnerability.”  Like many others, Dr. Brown was raised to believe that “vulnerability was weakness.” Her social research of 18 years  has debunked that myth and led her to discover the keys to understanding how to “show up and be seen. To ask for what you need, to talk about what you’re feeling. To have the hard conversations.”

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Authenticity in Leadership Presence

jshureIn the last 15 years of my career as a clinical psychologist and leadership coach I have been increasingly working in the corporate sphere, coaching leaders to find their own voice, to show up with confidence and sustain resilience through adversity. When I began this work I spent time wondered how safe it was to show up as truly myself in the traditional work world environment. Psychologists, after all, can appear threatening to folks who think we can read their minds. We can dress in casual clothes and generally be funkier than our corporate clients. I used to worry that I would appear less professional when I approached clients with my patient interest in their stories, empathy for their struggles and passionate curiosity about their life’s dreams.

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The Inner Critic : Listen to Beth Weinstock on Voices in the Family, WHYY

For those experiencing issues with soundcloud, please click here to listen.

Each of us knows that negative inner voice – the one that tells us we can’t do something new, we can’t get that promotion at work-that we’re just not good enough. So who is this inner critic, how did it get there, and how do we confront it? The answer lies in self-compassion. On this Voices in the Family, we’ll talk to self-compassion expert Dr. Kristin Neff, as well as resilience coach Dr. Beth Weinstock about to to put these inner demand in their place.

– See more at: http://whyy.org/cms/voicesinthefamily/the-inner-critic/#sthash.gols9JgW.dpuf